Four months have passed since I had the privilege of connecting with you through e-news. I'd say, "I don't know where the time has gone..." but I DO!
Over here, it's been four months of sorting, packing, moving, unpacking, sorting, painting, and settling in. Did I mention sorting? I've completed a lot of moves over the years and I figured I was an old hand. Well, guess what? It didn't all happen exactly how I expected and wanted it to. For one thing, the process took a lot longer than I imagined (it's still going on!). More than that, it took a lot more energy to get from one place to another than I thought it would. Add some painful inflammation of my Achilles tendons to the mix and this situation was practically the poster child for learning opportunities.
So what's the best thing I learned about movement (and life) from moving house? Sometimes it's really not you. It's your parameters.
Here's what I mean. When I realized that things were not unfolding in the crisp and timely manner I had planned, I started beating up on myself. Clearly, I thought, the disparity between my sparkling vision and this messy reality was the result of personal failure, the failure of an unmotivated and lazy procrastinator. Surely with self-improvement, I would not be sorting my filing cabinet in an otherwise empty room of our old house...two days after the movers left.
Thankfully, a wiser voice joined this mental conversation.
What if the picture I'd developed of how this process would go was not informed by (or supportive to) my current state of being? What if this picture didn't take in the whole landscape of internal and external factors influencing my situation at the time? I'd been slower than expected because I expected more than I had the bandwidth to do. There was a mismatch between my parameters for how things must go and my reality of the moment. And I didn't know until I tried.
My big take away? Compassionate self-awareness is a daily practice. It helps us bridge the gap between what we imagine and what happens on the ground. It helps us hold both our aspirations and an understanding of current capacities with love and clarity.
Setting nonjudgmental eyes on ourselves and our experiences helps us more accurately gauge what challenges we can meet and what support we may need in doing so. When we stumble in facing ambitious goals, we can more easily see our struggle as information about what's happening now rather than commentary about who we are. And when the unexpected comes along (as it almost always does), compassionate self-awareness helps us find the way through with grace, humility, and maybe even humour.
I'm bringing this renewed appreciation of compassionate self-awareness to my movement practice. I'm placing friendly, curious connection at its centre. May I know this moment.